What's happening in Greenwich, CT?

This is a 20 million dollar home, maybe they ran out of money and could not buy a rug that fit.





If I sat here I would have a martini in my hand.

FUG.

This is not redone! This is leftover from decades ago!  Do not change a thing!

This is an 18 million dollar home.  They purchased their bedspread from the Miami Red Roof Inn.

I love almost everything. I would change the window treatments and take them off the doors. I do not like the art or the globe or the lights. The chairs all need redone. I would drink  a white wine spritzer in here.

Can you take it? I can't.

If you live in CT you can pretend you live in England. I would probs have an affair with the gardener on those steps.

Early morning coffee before the kids get up and/or the gardener arrives.

Wants to be from Kensington and Chelsea, but still from a place near Target and Costco.

Don't even talk to me about this. Just imagine walking out there in your bare feet.

Do you want to live here?  Forget it.  It's not in the cards. You can go on realtor.com and drool, but that is all.

Anti-social eating behavior

This is defined as a pain in the ass orderer in a restaurant, or someone who has obviously obsessed over the menu, or someone at the table who orders something that could be deemed as "diety" when the rest of the party orders as normal individuals.

An extreme case of anti-social eating behavior is when one will fake sick or busy in order to avoid a compromising ordering situation.

Also known as me at our division's quarterly birthday lunch.

Me-"I will have a vegetable roll and a cup of hot and sour soup."

Everyone else-"We will have all things tasty and delicious.  Please bring us mango and green curries and california rolls.  Oh, don't forget the pad thai!"

Everyone else-" Hey WW, how is your lunch."

Me-"It's fucking awful so good, I love this place."

A quick update...

I cannot progress past week three of my running program.  I am stuck, but I have not given up.  Also the only thing that gets me through WW is cheat night.

Cheat night allows pizza, booze and chocolate. Cheat night is my favorite day of the week and the day you will find me in the best mood. I could wreck my car and still be smiling on cheat night.  On a WW night I may run out of wiper fluid and murder someone.

Why is food so intertwined with my happiness factor?  This is not Naturally Thin thinking and Frankel would not approve.

Even though I have lost 10 pounds, I still do not enjoy my new lifestyle. I still crave crap food and I have yet to experience a high from my treadmill.

Diet Dictionary

paleolithic diet:  This consists of lean and organic meat, seafood, copious amounts of fruits and vegetables, and a good portion of healthy fats from nuts and heallthy oils.

Who makes this up?  Who determines what is what?

I am on a roll

On Oprah's website, viewers were invited to share their food rules.

Chia seeds! These tiny seeds are a superfood that is uniquely versitile. They are rich in clean fats and protien and contain essential minerals like calcium and potassium. Can be added to salads, yogurt, oatmeal...almost anything. The taste is very bland so they do not effect the flavor of your food. The best use for them I have found is to mix a 1:3 ratio of seeds to water to form a thick gel. Mix in nuts, coco powder, sunflower seeds or other whole grains to make a nutrient rich bar. No cooking nessisary - just let set for a few hours or overnight. When soaked in water the chia seed forms a gell that slows digestion of carbohydrates and sugars. This is great for endurance athletes and diabetics who need a stable release of energy over time. Also helps with hydration as the chia gel holds 12 times its weight in water.

As in Chia Pet seeds??

Points counting

Breakfast
2/3 C Special K (dry) 1 point
banana                       2 points

Lunch
Healthy Choice Gross Meal 3 points

Dinner
WW Style Chicken Parm with pasta 9 points

Total points 17
points left for snack 2 
2 point snacks that are good 0

Things that are good

What's happening in ...?

As I have said before, one of my favorite past times is to browse around on Realtor.com.  This is my Internet porn. I love to pick a city and get a sense of the design in that area.  F to the U to the N. Today we will take a gander in the Lakewood section of Dallas, TX.  Lakewood is swank. It takes money to live there, the average home is anywhere from 800,000 to 1,000,000 and I think that is borderline poor by Texas standards. Let's see if we are impressed.

If I lived here I would keep it real with hot dogs and beer in cans.

Even richies hide crap under their bed

This is not arranged appropriately. If it were, this room would be awesome.

Please note that someone bothered to use excess custom fabric left over from chairs to cover the decorators table with. Ha!

Look at these clothes.  I hope a Tranny lives here, if not, then it's just unacceptable.



This is nice! Can you picture yourself reading here?  I read in the tub, but if I had a reading nook like this I would use it.

Truthfully, it was slim pickens' in Lakewood.  Lots and lots of money, but no design. Next stop-New England!

Who do I want to punch in the face?

Three guesses!


1.




Lies I tell you.  Lies!



2.



Do not be fooled, these are not real cupcakes!



3.



Honestly.  My anger with this knows no bounds.

I bought Bethenny Frankel's book, Naturally Thin.  Let me save you $12.95.  This chick has eating disordered behaviors. Of course!  This is why she is naturally thin! Duh.  Duh to the power of duh!  I should have known.

Imagine this-You and a group of friends go out to dinner.  Lets say a steakhouse, Bethanny Frankel enjoys a nice "fatty" steak, so should you by God! A waiter brings a bread basket to the table, so you take a bite or two, but that is it!  And you do so to participate.  It's now time to order cocktails, you ask the bartender for a margarita, but ask him to leave out everything but the tequila and add soda and fresh lime juice. Esto no es una margarita!  Then you order soup if it is clear and a big salad Elaine Benice style. For your entree you will have a side of steamed veggies.  Then you will take bites off of all of your friend's plates.  You want to just taste the steak, or pasta or whatever, not actually eat it. "Taste everything and eat nothing."  Yes, that is one of many gems repeated through her book. It is ASTOUNDING. In fact, I want you to go and read it, I need you to experience this with me!

Now if you will excuse me I need to go and find a cupcake, smell it, then stomp on it.

Come on!

She is electric youth and smells like it too.

This just pisses me off!

Can I get some motivation over here?

Being sick has given me some time to contemplate on a thing or two.

This is week three of WW and my 5K training program. I can only say I am highly discouraged.  Why?  I will tell you.

First of all.  I do not enjoy dieting.  I know, I know, WW is supposed to be a lifestyle, not a diet!  I call BULLSHIT.  What kind of lifestyle has a person obsessing over every last little bite of food?!?  I don't want to have a panic attack over one lousy point or freak out because I ate 3/4s a cup of something and not 2/3rds.  So damn irritating!  Since the diet I have been cooking for myself and also for my family.  That is twice the work!  How long can I keep this up?  Certainly not lifestyle long. I eat the same dinner almost every day; zero point soup, salad with ONE tablespoon of dressing, and HALF a bagel with ONE tablespoon of light cream cheese. 

None of this is normal eating behavior.  NONE of it. 

Secondly, running is kicking my ass.  I am no good at cardio for real.  I can handle cardio for warm up, but cardio for real is killing me. I'm old, out of shape, and not athletic!  I am NOT an athlete. Never was.  I was not into sports during school. I was into keggars. 

I honestly do not know why I am doing this to myself.

Is twenty pounds really worth all of this trouble??  What do I do if I lose twenty pounds? Continue on this path like a mad woman?  Stop running and stop counting and start gaining?? 

Sweet Jesus this is difficult.  Now where is that bitch Jillian so she can come and kick my ass?

Being sick is gross

I wonder what the correct dosage is?



Dining rooms for dummies

I think a project might do me some good.  My dining room is gross.  And by gross I mean not pleasant to dine in. 

I enjoy all of these.  I think I can swing them (ability-wise and money-wise).  They are all VERY neutral, this is because I am a little scared of color and it fits my house which is 1970's cool ranch.  I love mixing furniture styles and colors and I am especially in love with a table and chairs that do not match.

I save pictures from Realtor.com in my spare time. Most if not all are from there.  If not...sorry (said in this voice, here).

What's in a weekend?

BD = before diet

In BD time, weekends were Awesome!  And get this, my weekends start at 3:00 pm Thursday! This meant cocktails as soon as I got home, while making dinner, while watching my shows. Fun and funner!

AD= after diet
Now, it's a different story people.  I have not drank AD. I can, but I can't.  Not yet.  If I do, I will most certainly say EFF it and end up stuffing my face with whatever, it wouldn't even have to be good!

But as I sit here, waiting for 3:00 to roll around, I can't help but feel a little residual excitement to what is NOT to come.  It's a little sad.

Really!?!

I have nothing good to report.  Weight gain, tough workout, and trying on clothes in mall lighting.  Then something far worse occurred....

So, as I was getting ready for the my outing at the mall (there are not many!) I chose a sweater coat/dress type thing for the right amount of warmth which is to not freeze outside or burn up while inside the mall.  I was not happy with the look of it (enhanced fatty parts), however choose to ignore it for the comfort factor.

As I was leaving Barnes and Noble with my new "How not to be fat book", I saw someone wearing my sweater coat/dress type thing EXCEPT she looked awesome and I looked frump. She had green leggings and cute boots and long hair and sunglasses. I had lardo syndrome and I'm not even sure if I bothered with mascara!

Let me break it down for you...

HER

ME



Sense and Sensibility

I had TWO of these yesterday

Free and Free

Zero points

Could have had two of these

$4.05 and 11.5 points

Shit like this is what makes me smart and nothing like this one

Horrible I tell you, horrible!

I started my running program on 1/2/11 and started WW 1/3/11.  This has been the longest week of my life. I find WW terribly restrictive.  I am on the "FLEX" program and get a whopping 20 points per day with 35 bonus points per week.  To give you perspective, a Angus Deluxe is 17.5 points, Dulce De Leche Caramel Cheesecake is 26.5, and wine is 2 points for 4 oz. Who in the hell drinks 4 oz. of wine!?! Not me, I drink mine out of water goblets.

This means, what you are left with are hunger pangs, cravings, and mood swings. This is horrible!

I take pleasure (a huge amount of pleasure!  I cannot stress this ENOUGH) in things that taste awesome and pairing them with a giant glass of wine. This is torture.

I mean, how am I supposed to get through an episode of Real Housewives without a decent snack??

Fat Burger, I think that's an actual place.

Does anyone really have a problem with this?

Can it really lead to this?