Being sick has given me some time to contemplate on a thing or two.
This is week three of WW and my 5K training program. I can only say I am highly discouraged. Why? I will tell you.
First of all. I do not enjoy dieting. I know, I know, WW is supposed to be a lifestyle, not a diet! I call BULLSHIT. What kind of lifestyle has a person obsessing over every last little bite of food?!? I don't want to have a panic attack over one lousy point or freak out because I ate 3/4s a cup of something and not 2/3rds. So damn irritating! Since the diet I have been cooking for myself and also for my family. That is twice the work! How long can I keep this up? Certainly not lifestyle long. I eat the same dinner almost every day; zero point soup, salad with ONE tablespoon of dressing, and HALF a bagel with ONE tablespoon of light cream cheese.
None of this is normal eating behavior. NONE of it.
Secondly, running is kicking my ass. I am no good at cardio for real. I can handle cardio for warm up, but cardio for real is killing me. I'm old, out of shape, and not athletic! I am NOT an athlete. Never was. I was not into sports during school. I was into keggars.
I honestly do not know why I am doing this to myself.
Is twenty pounds really worth all of this trouble?? What do I do if I lose twenty pounds? Continue on this path like a mad woman? Stop running and stop counting and start gaining??
Sweet Jesus this is difficult. Now where is that bitch Jillian so she can come and kick my ass?
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